MAKOM exclusive:Purim or Yom Ha’atzmaut?

March 8, 2009

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EXCLUSIVE:

Documents have recently reached the MAKOM offices, that should give the entire Jewish world cause for concern. A leaked draft of the Jewish People Planning and Policy Positions on Peoplehood Institute (JPPPPPI) talks of plans to abolish celebrations of Israel’s Independence Day (Yom Ha’atzmaut), and co-opt Purim instead.

All the more disturbing, is that no one – neither in the JPPPPPI, not the Jewish Agency, nor the Israeli government – will come out and publically deny these rumors. “Let’s face it,” sigh sources in the Jewish Agency’s Education Department, “Yom Ha’atzmaut celebrations are particularly lame. I mean, how much more felafel can you eat?” Sources close to the JPPPPPI explain their recommendation in a more positive way: “Purim is the festival of revolutions, the ultimate secular festival where God isn’t even mentioned once, and it’s a festival of power. It’s the perfect festival to celebrate the establishment of the State of Israel.” Even the incoming Minister for Foreign Affairs, Avigdor Doberman, is a great fan of the Book of Esther. “Did you read how many Iranians we kill at the end of the story?” enthuses one of his aides.

Is this the end of 60 years of blue and white balloons? Is Israel going to politicize yet another area of Jewish practice? Or should we celebrate the conflation of Israel’s Independence Day with the only Jewish festival that encourages us to get so drunk we can’t tell the difference between Obama and Ahmedinijad?

 

 

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