EXCLUSIVE:More identity theft in service of the Jews?

May 9, 2010

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It has come to the attention of Makom that the Dubai assassination was by no means the first time that the Jewish People has been involved in identity theft.

To our shame and bewilderment, close readings of key documents reveal that a certain Sara (aka Sarai) passed herself off as the sister of her then husband Abraham (aka Abram), when engaged in undercover work in Egypt. Further identity scams ensued in Egypt, when Jewish forces infiltrated high Egyptian command through the infamous mole Tzafnat Paneyah (aka Joseph Jacobson).

Jewish settler chief Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai established the outpost of Yavne after forging the documents of a deceased Jew, thus fooling Italian authorities, and rumour has it that the elusive character of Elijah the Prophet has been appearing throughout European folklore in innumerable different guises.

The fact that Jewish households brazenly offer said Elijah safe haven at every Seder night only further darkens the cloud above us all. The forging and subterfuge is due to come to a head in only a few days time, when Jews all around the world will disguise themselves and conspire to switch even the identities of a Persian President and someone’s favourite Uncle.

We at Makom can only hang our head in shame.

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